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Dance of the Whispering Past by ~lowra:iconlowra:





Dance of the Whispering Past

So easy to cry without a sound
To bleed without a tear
But for one more day with you
I'd scream for a thousand more.

There goes the band again
They know when I'm thinking about you
For they always play that song
That makes me smile like you used to.
When I remember the fireworks in your eyes
And the dance
We were the melody and the fire that lit the candles all around
I'm taken back...
There goes the band again
In whispers they play the songs
We danced to until the horizon was as bright as newborn smiles.
And I'm taken back...

So easy to cry without a sound
To bleed without a tear
But I can't dance
I won't dance without you here.
©2002-2009 ~lowra
:iconlowra:

Author's Comments

A sad tale....

I dunno, it was late...I was tired...this is what happened. ;) (Wink)

Comments


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:iconthugnetwork:
I really like how you summed it up with "I won't dance without you here." Very nice way to wrap it up.

Sometimes it seemed like you added an extra line that you didn't really need to... "And the dance" To me it seemed out of place, but I'm also not the one writing, just criticizing.

Over all, I like it, and it expressed emotions and thoughts from the past very nicely.

--
<center>CasanovaPhotos.com
:iconasht535:
ha! this is great work... lots of inspiration hovering around in this poem.

--
"... to be able to sacrifice any moment what we are for what we can become..."
:iconrose-noir:
This is perfect. My favorite of all that I've read of yours so far.

and the dance

yes, the dance. and the song. and music, and all that makes one nostalgic.

well done.
:iconkenzie:
this is really lovely. i'm not sure if danceing is a metaphor for anything in this peice, but i still love the imagery-- its so gorgeous. i dont know why, but i picture two people dancing in the middle of a desert with mysterious orchestra music in the background. dont ask me why. this is really really beautiful, and i love the stanzas you used. really. this is awesome.

--
We're going to right the world and live our lives the way lives were meant to be lived. With the throat and the wrists. And love till it hurts maybe, but goddamn girl. Live.

-Sandra Cisneros
:iconpicasowannabe:
I love this piece, it reminds of this one time in the states, we had this big outdoor disco in a big old field, in was lots of good old fashioned fun(although in my opinion it was far too sober and supervised), and everyone was jumping around and moshing, really taking the piss! but me and my girlfriend at the time just went to the edge of the crowd and danced.

Well just in case yall were wondering i thought i'd share a little bit of my so called life there.

Anyway kewl poem, really emotive and powerful, and very well written as always!!

Much love
dave

--
Comment, to get comments.
Share your kindness, not your hate.
Love the art, before yourself
:iconangelbelle:
Wow, Brisa, this is excellent...
It happens so often that I see a poem of yours on my deviantmessages, and I think 'meh, I'm not in the mood to read poetry tonight' (cause I rarely am really in the mood to read poetry) but I look anyway, and I always forget anything I thought about not being in the mood for poetry.
You have such a way of putting my thoughts and feelings down on paper, it's amazing. I love your poetry, and this poem is no exception. I love how the first and last part start out the same, but end differently... this is an excellent poem. Good job, Brisa.

IOVU
(ov,) Fred

--
'I'm breathing so I guess I'm still alive
Even if signs seem to tell me otherwise'
:iconillecebrosajane:
I agree with thugnetwork, the "I won't dance without you here" was a great way to end it.

It's very true, sometimes it does seem like the band is playing your song. Music is always a haunting reminder of the past...especially if the past is...well, haunted.

--
Carpe diem, et carpe noctem, sed non carpe me piscem!
:icon-tank:
Jawdrop amazing...you are so amazing...you know that :) (Smile) ...+favlove
-tank

-=don't fear to imagine=-

--
'To be positive at all times is to ignore all that is important, sacred or valuable. To be negative at all times is to be threatened by ridiculousness and instant discredibility.'
-Kurt Kobain
:iconbloodchild09:
wonderful, laura. as usual.
i love the images you've used here, and the way you've taken something i've felt and put it on paper in a way i could never hope to. beautiful.
and i love the way it ends. perfect. Worship

--
~~~~~~~~~~~~
we all float down here
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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September 10, 2002
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